The Dumb Essay About Self Doubt

Title written by child of author

I recently ran into a wall that was labeled “imposter syndrome” at its highest point, and “self doubt” at a shorter, scalable height. ¹

Me facing the walls of my own self doubt (though I look suspiciously like Jack from the TV series Lost)

I doubt myself daily, knowing full well that such doubt is visible to my girls (which makes me have more doubts about myself as a mother).  Recently, I went through a whole rigamarole when a pair of shorts I got three months ago were skin tight.  “How did I let myself get so large,” I wondered, stripping the shorts off.  In doing so, I realized that the shorts were actually sized small–my daughter’s identical pair. Suddenly, this menopausal woman felt proud–I fit this dumptruck into a size small!! This left me laughing at myself, and how even after all these years, childish doubt can effortlessly jump behind the driver's seat of my emotions.  Who exactly is in charge in the executive office of my brain? Who is the observer of the thoughts, and the thin…